I've been crying since I read his post. It is really sad, but I'm usually not this affected by these things. I go for my next bloodwork on Wednesday morning, we'll see how much longer I have to be on these stims. Hopefully it will be over by Sunday. I have to pause every evening before I give myself the shots. I have to will myself into giving myself the dose,my emotions are all over the map anyways, so half of me just wants to throw the needle away. A quarter of me hates needles and wants to throw it away, and the final quarter thinks if you don't dose, you'll be back to normal in no time.
Good thing all of me wants to have a baby.
I don't have a lot to post these days, I've been feeling pretty down lately, and I'm working really hard to make sure I do everything I can not to sink back into depression again. But it seems that everything is either me feeling down, or talking about IVF and that even bores me!
The election is giving me huge amounts of anxiety. I haven't been able to listen to the debates or any of the media coverage. I get completely agitated. I've only been into the campaign office once, and that was last week. We had a brainstorming session for canvass coverage. The campaign manager asked me to head in there tomorrow night, I know I really should, if for nothing else to spend some time with her, and help share some of the burden. I did however manage to vote today, so I won't need to be worried about being all doped up next Monday at the ballot box.
I skipped guild tonight, I totally could have gone, but just don't feel like heading out. I didn't want to go out for my birthday, I barely dragged myself out of the house for a shower on Saturday, I'm skipping hockey this time around...I'm sensing a pattern. Interacting with people is just such an effort these days.
I've had to drop one of my courses this term. I am just going to miss too much school. We have a security audit in our Victoria lab the end of February, and I have a tonne of work to do with them to get them up to speed. I'm headed out there the first week in Feb, and possibly the last week of Feb too. This runs right into when the mid-term is. I am still considering dropping the second course, we'll see how it goes. Work has really ramped up, and I want to be able to give the right amount of attention to each. I've also been given a bunch of project management and capital planning responsibilities this year, so I've got to ramp up on all that. Crappy, crappy timing.
Two things really have me worried. I'm tired all the time, I've been falling asleep at 9pm! And I am constantly typing the wrong words. Not misspelling, but writing things like 'complain' when I mean to write 'confirm'. Very weird short circuit I've got there.
Hubby's last day is Friday. I'm hoping he'll stay home for a while and get some stuff done around here, but we'll see. He's got tonnes of resumes out there.
Good news - let's see, we've gotten the truck fixed, they replaced the sending unit and gas tank, and tested the heater core. They couldn't find a leak in the heater, so they ran some tablets through it that will seal up small holes. The owner of the garage is the hubby of one of the knitwits, and he gave us a deal. That I wasn't expecting so it was a lovely surprise. Hubby picked up new snowtires for the truck super cheap, (that's what happens when you buy them in January!) and they've already saved him from sliding into someone.
I had an $87 credit on my hydro bill yesterday, and I have no idea why. The bill said to check the insert for the explanation, but there was none there... Still, not complaining.
My yoga instructor kicks ass. She is very cool, chatty and funny. She really lets you work in your comfort zone, trying all kinds of new poses and variations. Her shop is just around the corner from work, I think I may sign up for a few more sessions in her shop.
Not sure what to make of that, but maybe I'll have a good sleep tonight.