?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Mar. 18th, 2006 @ 10:10 pm Ultrasound follow-up
Tags: ,
We had the follow-up ultrasound Friday afternoon. As I'd been fearing our embryo stopped growing shortly after our appointment last Tuesday. At this point I can't think about it without crying. I stopped feeling pregnant last Thursday, but was hoping that it was all in my mind.

They started off with a trans-abdominal ultrasound, and immediately we could tell there was a problem. Where we could see the heart beating before, there was nothing. Hubby was still hopeful that the TVU would give better results, but I knew at that point our dream was over. The tech called a doctor in to evaluate the images, and he confirmed that our embryo had died, there was no heartbeat and the yolk sac had crumpled. We had to wait an hour to see the RE, and they were kind enough to take us out of the waiting room so we could grieve in private.

Right after our appointment yesterday we had to run some errands, then go over to the in-laws' for his sister's birthday. Today I had to buy gifts for, then attend a bridal shower, and tomorrow I have a scrapbooking class. Next week is a hellish week at work, and I don't want to do any of this, I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. I don't want to cry in front of hubby it just upsets him and I hate to see how hurt he is. He's crushed and trying to be supportive and wonderful for me, but we're really just zombies at the moment.

I have opted against a D&C, I am going to wait a week or so, and if I don't miscarry naturally the doctor has prescribed some medication. I can't explain why but I just cannot do a D&C, but I hate waiting to miscarry. I hate this whole thing. I don't want to think about the dead baby inside of me, I don't want to think that I'll never give birth, I don't want to talk to all our well meaning friends who say we can try again. I think it would have been better if this round had failed, if I never experienced a pregnancy at all even if it was for only 7 weeks, it gave us hope and now that's gone.
Who does she think she is?
memorial
[User Picture Icon]
From:shannon_elaine
Date:March 19th, 2006 04:11 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
I am so so sorry...
(Reply) (Thread)
From:ex_redrain
Date:March 19th, 2006 04:20 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
*hugs* I'm sorry for your loss...
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:dbaxdevilsfan
Date:March 19th, 2006 04:55 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
awwww, sweetie, I'm so sorry. *hugs*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:akteri
Date:March 19th, 2006 05:35 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
All I can say is...


*HUGS*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:miss_kat_1968
Date:March 19th, 2006 05:37 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
I don't know what to say. I am so sorry this happened. I agree about questioning the seven weeks. I also know how hard this is to bear, especially if you are worried about upsetting your hubby. I've been there.

Oh shit. Sorry, couldn't post without at least one explative.

This is one of the hardest experiences you will go through. Know that I cried for you; and, Mr. Ed hopes you snuggle up with your dog tonight. When I was crying, Pepper came and loved on me, so I know your dog is doing the same with you. Dog hugs and fur are very conducive to crying. Just know that. Also, know you are in our thoughts. Take care.

Love,
Kat
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:lilcrazy
Date:March 19th, 2006 05:47 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Sorry you have to go through all the pain and hope. *hugs*
(Reply) (Thread)
From:bad_soup_day
Date:March 19th, 2006 09:43 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
I am so sorry.

Nothing I can write will make any difference but just know I am thinking of you right now.

Rich
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:beccak1961
Date:March 19th, 2006 01:40 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
I'm so very very sorry *hugs*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:islandgirlsj
Date:March 19th, 2006 03:02 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Oh sweetie.
I'm so sorry to hear this. Tears were welling up as I read your post.
Please take care of yourself.
I'm sending love and support
((hugs))
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:symian
Date:March 19th, 2006 03:25 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
I am sorry to hear that. My best to you.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:patticakes73
Date:March 19th, 2006 04:17 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Words cannot explain how sorry I am to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your hubby. *HUG*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:radiostace
Date:March 19th, 2006 07:16 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Oh no... what a heart wrenching thing to have to deal with. :( I don't have the words, just the sympathy. :(
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:ladybug777
Date:March 19th, 2006 07:18 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
I'm so sorry. So sorry. I don't even know what to say.
(Reply) (Thread)
From:ex_takenbut
Date:March 19th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
I am so sorry.

I wish I knew what to say. You are in my prayers.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:friscokitty
Date:March 19th, 2006 11:39 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Oh no...I am so so sorry. :*(
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:devaux
Date:March 20th, 2006 02:08 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Word can't express how sorry I am for you and your husband. I know that nothing I can say right now will help you feel better, just please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:tarheel_born
Date:March 20th, 2006 07:23 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
I'm so very very sorry. Thinking of you.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:unorthodox_muse
Date:March 20th, 2006 08:27 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
I've been away... I am so so sorry for your loss. Life is very fucking cruel sometimes.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:redgemini
Date:March 20th, 2006 05:45 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
I am so sorry for your loss :(
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:moongarden1971
Date:March 20th, 2006 10:47 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Honey I am SO SO sorry.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:running5k2day
Date:March 22nd, 2006 12:18 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
My deepest condolences to you and your husband. No words can make your pain go away or lessen, but know that you have friends that care about you and are remembered in prayers. Please stay well.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:piknik
Date:April 8th, 2006 04:18 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
jesus, I'm such an ass sometimes. I'm so sorry. I am crying for you right now, I wish I could do more. We don't know each other IRL, but it doesn't matter.

I'm so sorry. I wish I could say something more, but I find that there is nothing more.

Good thoughts to you and I hope you're doing okay.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture Icon]
From:neeroc
Date:April 9th, 2006 02:47 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Oh you're not an ass, I really wasn't clear with my reply to you, and you do have other things keeping ya busy *g*

Speaking of which, how are Oscar and Bert? Haven't seen any pictures lately. How is/was AZ? Are you moving?

Thanks very much for the good thoughts.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)