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Sep. 4th, 2006 @ 10:17 pm IVF paranoia
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
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This really hasn't been a good weekend for me. I woke up Sunday morning and no longer felt pregnant, I know it has only been a week, but I was so positive after the transfer and had some early symptoms that I was feeling really good all week. I'm sure some of what I was feeling was left over from the procedure, but I identified it with the way I was feeling in January. I don't know what I was expecting after my M/C, but I think part of me thought I would go back to feeling pregnant immediately and that hasn't happened. I know it is way too early to tell, but I feel I *should* know. I had a few minor symptoms earlier in the week, and then I woke up Sunday morning and didn't 'feel' pregnant at all. I've been down since then, crying at anything. I stopped 'feeling' pregnant before my M/C and I just *know* that this is going to be the same. Hubby has been doing the best he can, I've talked to him about what I'm feeling and it upsets him a lot, so I tend to keep these things to myself. I know it's not fair to him, because he shouldn't be taken by surprise, but I hate upsetting him. He keeps telling me that I'm wrong, but I'm having a really hard time of it. To top things off, Sunday afternoon I started spotting. I know they say not to worry, spotting is normal, and can occur, but to me all it has ever been is the start of another failed IVF attempt. I've been resting as much as possible, and I'll be 14 DPO tomorrow, and my beta isn't scheduled until Friday. I'm really torn about getting a HPT. I've never used them before, and I don't know what I want to find out.

All I have been doing is sitting here weighing whether I really think it worked this time or not. I want to be hopeful, but I want to be realistic too. If this is over, I want to get on with it. The thought of not being pregnant again brings more pain than I can deal with right now though, so I really don't want it to be over.
Who does she think she is?
angel
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From:miss_kat_1968
Date:September 5th, 2006 02:56 am (UTC)
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*hugs* hon. I hope everything works out for you.
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From:friscokitty
Date:September 5th, 2006 03:31 am (UTC)
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(((HUGS)))
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From:winters_edge
Date:September 5th, 2006 03:42 am (UTC)
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Lots of good thoughts and hugs to you.
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From:dbaxdevilsfan
Date:September 5th, 2006 03:46 am (UTC)
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ACK! I hope everything is ok! I'm praying for y'all & crossing my fingers for you!
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From:blond_not_blind
Date:September 5th, 2006 04:31 am (UTC)
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Stop stressing, it's bad for you. Some of your pregnant feelings could be from the procedure. Give yourself time - Many women spot at the end of week one and are fine - if you didn't start all out bleeding don't worry about it so much. I've got my fingers crossed for you and am thinking good thoughts. *hugs*
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From:tarheel_born
Date:September 5th, 2006 04:31 am (UTC)
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Good grief you have a late beta. That is just torture. Normally I'd tell you to steer clear of hpts, especially FREDs, but Friday is a long way away. Hold out for the beta if you can, move it up if they'll let you but try to stay away. I'm so sorry that you are in that horrible unsure place. Thinking of you .
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From:aussieteddie
Date:September 5th, 2006 10:53 am (UTC)
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I hope it all work out ok for you *hugs*. I know it is easy for me to say, but try not to get too worked up about it. You need to rest and no stress.
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From:jiliana
Date:September 5th, 2006 11:22 am (UTC)
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I am keeping my fingers crossed for you, and like everyone else, I'm going to keep praying and wishing you baby dust until Friday's beta. With any luck, the thought that you "stopped feeling pregnant" is but a mere thought, not based in reality whatsoever. I continue to hope for you, for me, and for so many others in our shoes right at this very moment. Hold on, think good thoughts, get lots of rest, eat well, and make sure you take time for you and your hubby. Lean on each other and the rest of the community. We're all here to help and to listen. Right now, I'm banishing negative thoughts... I have faith for you!
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From:devaux
Date:September 5th, 2006 05:08 pm (UTC)
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*HUGS*

Sending good thoughts your way!
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From:sionelldarkleaf
Date:September 5th, 2006 09:40 pm (UTC)
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Hugs!!! You will be in my thoughts sweetie.
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