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Jan. 4th, 2007 @ 01:22 pm What?
I had a really good Christmas this year. December is always hard on me, but the family stress was less this year as we weren't responsible for a Christmas dinner. We still had to attend two, but didn't have to prepare one of them. So I had my knitting and open house to worry about, but I was then free and clear. We had a very nice Christmas morning together before the afternoon and evening of gluttony. I was completely surprised and spoiled by my gifts this year, hubby really out-did himself. I was also really excited about several of the gifts I got him (well the one I was most excited about was his birthday gift, but since his bd is Christmas, he got it shortly after the rest.) I love being able to completely surprise someone with a gift, and I think I accomplished it this year.

I did discover however that I am turning into my mother. For years it has been a running joke that she buys presents, tucks them away and then forgets about them. I noticed that I started doing this with greeting cards a few years ago, and this year, after I wrapped hubby's gifts, I thought, 'I thought I had bought more' but then didn't give it a second thought. Christmas morning I remembered 2 movies and 3 CDs that I bought him, and later in the day a comment he made reminded me of a ski bag I had purchased for him. *g*

I have many several FO pics to post soon, as well as the 'knitting that was left behind'. Good thing the intended recipients don't know what they're missing! It will give me a head start on next year.

I was a little down after Christmas, part of it was that my vacation was half over, and part of it was stress and concern about a couple of friends who are having hard times for various reasons right now. I'm still debating how to deal with some unfinished business, I was hoping to have it fixed up before the new year, but hell it's really nothing more than an arbitrary date on a calendar. Where I was with it January 1st will impact my year no more than where I am with it January 31st. It will get done when it is time.

And of course there is the baby making. There is always the baby making. I am so completely anxious and worked up and scared about this next round. And of course my body isn't cooperating. It now looks like the earliest I will start down regulating is beginning of February, for a transfer in April. I am so anxious I want to scream. It seems like the past 5 years or so, and more specifically the past two, our entire life has been on hold while we deal with some procedure or another. There are vacations and trips we want to take, plans (like to get another bike or sell the one we have) that should be made, but we've been chasing this damn carrot for so long now that it has become easy to push the rest of my life aside. I've also found it far too easy to be worried or sick or scared and push everyone away. I have always preferred dealing with things on my own, but this is so big and has been going on for so long that I can't continue this way any more.

Anyways, not exactly the note I started on, but I guess a lot of the reason I haven't been writing in here lately....of course if I didn't keep it all bottled up, I might have more to write about. *g*
Who does she think she is?
catspit
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From:radiostace
Date:January 4th, 2007 07:23 pm (UTC)
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I forgot that your husband is also a Christmas baby, just like mine! :D
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From:neeroc
Date:January 7th, 2007 06:46 pm (UTC)
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Is he a spoiled brat too? *g*
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From:neeroc
Date:January 7th, 2007 06:47 pm (UTC)
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Thanks very much. What a weird winter this has been. It feels more like spring today. I never thought I would miss the snow.
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From:aussieteddie
Date:January 5th, 2007 12:11 am (UTC)
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I certainly know what it is like to be concerned about your friends. i went through that last year. Hopefully they will start to see a light at the end of the tunnel and you won't they that stress. We know you don'r need the extra tension with your baby making :c)
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From:neeroc
Date:January 9th, 2007 05:42 pm (UTC)
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The sickness and worry get to me so much and I feel so helpless. I sure hope they get answers/better soon.

I have a plan to reduce the stress this year when I try baby-making again. It starts with not doing it when I have upcoming audits and hopefully ends with me taking some leave to do it. Yes I said do it *g*
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From:jiliana
Date:January 5th, 2007 01:35 pm (UTC)
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*waves* Still here hon and still reading. With regards to your friends, I am much the same; worrying about everyone and hoping that all goes well for them. And as for the baby-making stuff, like you, we've been "chasing the carrot" and the rest of our lives have been put on hold. So I've decided for the next couple of months, there is NO carrot. We're not chasing a darn thing. And Lord, it feels so FREEING to just be me for awhile. Maybe until the April transfer comes up, you can do that to, concentrate on being YOU. I even put my thermometer away! *gasp* Amazing huh? I know that time is of the essence for me, but I need to make sure I'm healthy, happy and in a good frame of mind to even get pregnant. Without those things, it'd be a much more difficult ride. So take the time for you. And know that we're behind you. Many hugs and Happy New Year to you and your family!
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From:neeroc
Date:January 7th, 2007 11:42 pm (UTC)
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I'm so glad you had a nice vacation. I know you've been on a roller coaster too, and understand exactly how exhausting it can be. I wish you and your family all the best this year.
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From:(Anonymous)
Date:January 9th, 2007 01:59 pm (UTC)
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you are terribly missed...
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From:neeroc
Date:January 30th, 2007 08:56 pm (UTC)
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Your choice.
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