September 7th, 2006



I haven't been around much the past couple of days, as I'm still a mess, obsessing about the test tomorrow. I am in such a weird place. I so badly want this to be the time it works, but I am confident it didn't happen. I still want to go and hear about a positive result tomorrow afternoon, but I'm anticipating the sympathetic tone when the nurse calls. When I do sleep, I dream about getting answers. Most of the time it is positive, and last night it was my RE who actually gave me the news. And that makes it harder when I wake up (did I mention my dreams have been really vivid lately?) and have to sort out that it was just a dream. Hubby will be going with me for the blood draw, and I'm really grateful for that. I feel like it's pointless but still try to have hope.

I decided to spend this week working from home. I figured I'd be less likely to over extend myself, and lets face it, I wouldn't have to face anyone, or answer any questions. It worked against me to a certain extent. For almost 24 hours, from Tuesday afternoon on, my VPN connection would not work. Stress much? I did manage to do a bunch of knitting, finished up many projects that I'd had on the needles for a looong time. As soon as my batteries are charged I'll post some pics. But now I'm playing catch-up on all the work that needs to be done for the security audit in two weeks.

I started writing this to thank everyone for their good thoughts after my last post. I'm sure I'm sounding like a broken record, but it's only one more day now.