September 14th, 2006



Thank you to everyone who sent good wishes and thoughts and prayers for me after my positive beta on Friday. Unfortunately, on Sunday afternoon my heart was broken again when I miscarried for the second time this year. I went to the RE's office on Monday anyways for another beta, and my numbers had gone up but not doubled. So based on the fact that I had the miscarriage on Sunday and my numbers were not high, my doctor does not believe it could be a situation where I was carrying two and miscarried one (that was my faint hope, but I don't really even believe it).

The past few days have been pretty unbearable, getting ready for my audit, having people congratulate me as they hear about my sister's pregnancy, hearing everyone celebrate my friend's announcement of her quads and just generally coping. I don't want to talk to people, I don't want to go out, I don't want to see anyone, and yet no one knows what we were doing so I have to act normal. I've come home in tears every time I go out. I tried all day today to find a walk-in clinic to do one more test. Each of the 5 that I went to had a waiting time of at least an hour - and that was just to get the req. to get the bloodwork! I'm angry and frustrated and I don't want to sit in a waiting room full of snotty-nosed, flu-filled kids, so again more tears.