December 22nd, 2009

Damn Good Whacking

I'm done.

Tonight, when I was over at my sister's getting my BIL to validate our passport applications (my procrastination is another topic), my mother decided to give me crap for inviting her over for Christmas dinner on Friday. My sister and her family will be out of town, and my brother and sister-in-law will be joining us here, so I extended the invitation. Apparently this is one of the worst things I could have done. Not only would she prefer to be alone on Christmas, but I should never have invited her as she made it clear at the beginning of the month that she would only do Christmas dinner at her house. After giving me crap she went on to explain how she would have 'Christmas' dinner at some other time when everyone is available. That's right. Since we won't do a separate dinner for one person, she won't see any of her kids or her granddaughter on Christmas.

I'm so tired of the selfishness and manipulation. This July, I was talking to her about going up to her cottage for the week of our wedding anniversary. We always do this, and we do it Monday to Friday so as not to interfere with anyone's weekend plans. This year she said we couldn't as she was taking my nephew up there for the week. This was news to my sister, said nephew's mother. So the cottage ended up sitting empty for the week. She never intended on going and just wanted to stop us from going but didn't have the balls to say she didn't want us up there.

It has become more and more obvious that she has no desire to spend any time with my family. When she found out that my mother-in-law and family were going to be here for our Mother's Day lunch she called the night before to cancel, she'd 'hurt her back'. Early in January when hubby was first home with V I made arrangements for her to come over in the afternoon to look after V so he could get stuff done. She canceled with 15 minutes notice. Hubby already had things lined up to do, but she had some lame reasoning about needing to stay at my sister's. The entire time he was home with V she never stopped by. That's nine months and she couldn't find a free afternoon.

Her choices make me sad for V. I'd thought they would have a great close relationship, but for whatever reason, she is too busy to find time for her.

I really have nothing to say to her. There is nothing I can say or do or convincing that can happen that will make the fact that she made these choices in the first place go away. Like the title says, I'm done.